Love vs. Addiction

I'm digging in my memories and searching for the experiences I've had walking on the fine line of love and addiction.  Actually, I shouldn't say that I have walked this line often, or even at all, but I have seen others on the border.  What exactly separates love from addiction?  And where does infatuation lie?  I have always been curious about how these concepts differ from each other.  Now that I have a little more experience under my belt with these issues, I'd like to attempt to thoroughly investigate them.


Love.  I've written about this before.  What is love?  Well, if you remember reading my blog entitled, How do you know that you are truly in love?, I state that:


"True love has no shame.  There is no guilt.  There are no obligations.  True love is the unity of two people that are so compatible with each other and so eager to venture forward into the roaring sea of emotions and unexpected happenings.  The feeling of true love is not solely physical, but rather deep in your soul.  You dream about this person and you really believe that you could not survive if you did not have this wonderful human being by your side."


Honestly, it does sound a little bit like addiction, doesn't it?  You really believe that you could not survive if you did not have this wonderful human being by your side.  Aren't people that are addicted to drugs or alcohol feel the same way about those substances?  That they would literally explode if they did not have them?  Perhaps addiction is an extreme degree of love.  At the beginning of a relationship, love is immature and undeveloped.  It isn't true love, but it is certainly the beginning stage of it.


Well, maybe I should back up a little.  How about infatuation?  I believe infatuation occurs before a relationship ever begins.  But...do all infatuations lead to a relationship?  No.  Some people are infatuated with movie stars.  They daydream about them, sending their minds spinning off into other dimensions.  Infatuation is almost like reading a fiction book.  At first, it's nothing - you're just reading.  But then, you begin to know the characters a little more, slowly beginning to realize how good the book is.  Then you become SO immersed in everything that the characters do, and you actually begin living in this fantasy land.  It's almost not real.  It's a little like your own personal heaven.


Infatuation, however, can quickly turn to reality.  Either you finish reading the book and snap back into the real world, or you actually come into contact with the characters.  Why do you think people are so obsessive over Harry Potter?  It consists of a series of books based in this super awesome fantasy world.  Then they made movies.  Yes, with actual people in them.  If I were Emma Watson, I would run for my life.  Millions of people are infatuated with her!  I would take the next spaceship to Mars if I knew that many people were "after" me.  Literally.  So, does infatuation equal obsession?  I think so.  Maybe just a little bit.  So perhaps infatuation shouldn't even be compared with love.  Fair enough.


Love.  Love love love.  What do you love to do?  I love to write.  I love to dance.  I love music.  I love my friends and my family.  I love to stay fit.  I love to do all of these things, but I am not addicted to them.  Maybe I would lose a little bit of my sanity if I didn't have any of these things, but I think I would be able to survive without them.  Wait, friends and family?  Okay, I'm rethinking this...


But here is the point.  I am not addicted to my friends or family.  That would be kind of creepy, to be honest with you.  Okay, I can't lie.  I had to use Google to help me out here.  This is what Google gives as a definition for addiction:


being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming


Habit-forming... okay.  Well, in that sense, love can become an addiction.  If you get into the same routine with your significant other, a.k.a. get too comfortable, your love for one another will turn into an addiction and the break-up (if it ever happens) will be even more painful.  This is why you constantly hear that change is healthy.  I'm not saying that you have to change the person that you're dating, but at least put a little spontaneity into your life!  Think of it this way: when you are in love with someone, you both become one.  You lose a little part of yourself in order to become a part of this bigger picture.  You keep taking in all the glory of the relationship, wanting more and more of each other as time goes on.  Looking at it from the outside, it's actually kind of sickening to believe that I fell into this "addiction" once before.  Once your substance for addiction is taken away, you go a little crazy.  And then you realize, you were addicted.

So, conclusion: if you get too comfortable, you're falling into addiction.  Stay away people!

What about love vs. addiction in regard to non-human things?  I believe the line is more clear when we talk about love vs. addiction in non-human aspects.  If someone loves to do something, they have a deep, heartfelt passion for it.  They like to do it, but they also have a life outside of that.  They are social and they enjoy doing other things just as much.  Now, you can tell when someone is addicted to something.  They do it continuously.  Over and over and over again.  And then you start to see a change in their personality.  And then you realize that that particular thing is all they think about.  Addiction is scary.  I've seen a few people addicted to certain things and it's almost like they are a completely different person.  Kind of like being bipolar.

I can't successfully give advice about how to overcome an addiction, but I do know that if you keep the people that you care about the most close to you, you have a better chance of getting over an addiction.

There is a fine line between love and addiction.  However, it really is all up to you when it comes to deciding which side of the fence you would like to be on.