We have been taught our entire lives to be nice to one another and to treat others the way that we would want to be treated. We have showered copious amounts of love upon our friends and family, constructing groups of people that we trust and would do anything for. Sometimes, however, there are people that step into our lives that teach us a very valuable lesson: We have to stand up for what we truly believe in.
It is difficult to live your life by tiptoeing around people's feelings, especially since the notion of being nice has been embedded in your brain by your parents and family. Being nice is what you are used to. Being cautious about hurting someone's feelings seems to be wired in your DNA. You want everyone to like you. You want to live in a perfect world where you don't have enemies and everyone is your best friend.
What will you do when someone does or says something that hurts you? What will you do when people try to take advantage of you? Like me, some people tend to treat that person the way they want to be treated. They will smile, try to generate an understanding (or sometimes an excuse) of why that person did that, forgive, forget, and move on. Other people may be forthright and speak what is on their mind (I've honestly been envious of those that can do this).
Many people care about what others think of them and are trapped in this mindset for years of their lives. It seems that a majority of what we do and how we look is defined by what people think about us. Through years of interactions with various people and subsequently defining your self-esteem and personality, you will find that worrying about what others think of you gradually vanishes. I am by no means at this stage in my life, but I do find that it is getting easier with time.
Those that have this utmost self-confidence and a carefree attitude about what others think of them can truly stand up for themselves when someone does or says something hurtful. This self-confidence and carefree attitude can only come from one source: yourself. As I've written many times before, loving yourself is extremely vital for many aspects of relationships. Once you have learned to love yourself, you are truly invincible.
Being nice is always favorable, but when someone wrongs you, there then comes a point in your life where you should realize who your true friends are. You want to surround yourself with people that love you, celebrate your life, and support you in every endeavor and every failure. If someone ever says or does something hurtful to you, you cannot let the problem linger. You must immediately bring it up and try to resolve the issue. I truly believe in the power of forgiveness, but if hurtful words or actions are recurring, you must stand up for yourself and move on with your life without that person. It's hard to create an "enemy," but if you already have a wonderful support system of friends and family, what does an "enemy" matter? No matter what happens with your interaction with this person, your true friends and family will back you up.
Standing up for myself is an issue that I struggle with daily, but I am certainly getting better at it with time. At the end of the day, I can say that it is such a relief to see what a great support system I have. It is also a relief to think of those that I have let out of my life because they have hurt me. Getting rid of negativity in your life feels like a weight being lifted off of your shoulders.
SIDE NOTE:
I am a strong advocate for anti-bullying campaigns and truly feel that if there were more programs in schools to help people love themselves and learn how to stand up to these demeaning people, lives could be changed. All this world needs is love, and for someone to take every step to shoot that down is really sickening. People kill themselves over bullying, and it is all due to low self-esteem and a fear of standing up for oneself. Please spread the word about this blog so that people can take a step toward eradicating this awful behavior.
It is difficult to live your life by tiptoeing around people's feelings, especially since the notion of being nice has been embedded in your brain by your parents and family. Being nice is what you are used to. Being cautious about hurting someone's feelings seems to be wired in your DNA. You want everyone to like you. You want to live in a perfect world where you don't have enemies and everyone is your best friend.
What will you do when someone does or says something that hurts you? What will you do when people try to take advantage of you? Like me, some people tend to treat that person the way they want to be treated. They will smile, try to generate an understanding (or sometimes an excuse) of why that person did that, forgive, forget, and move on. Other people may be forthright and speak what is on their mind (I've honestly been envious of those that can do this).
Many people care about what others think of them and are trapped in this mindset for years of their lives. It seems that a majority of what we do and how we look is defined by what people think about us. Through years of interactions with various people and subsequently defining your self-esteem and personality, you will find that worrying about what others think of you gradually vanishes. I am by no means at this stage in my life, but I do find that it is getting easier with time.
Those that have this utmost self-confidence and a carefree attitude about what others think of them can truly stand up for themselves when someone does or says something hurtful. This self-confidence and carefree attitude can only come from one source: yourself. As I've written many times before, loving yourself is extremely vital for many aspects of relationships. Once you have learned to love yourself, you are truly invincible.
Being nice is always favorable, but when someone wrongs you, there then comes a point in your life where you should realize who your true friends are. You want to surround yourself with people that love you, celebrate your life, and support you in every endeavor and every failure. If someone ever says or does something hurtful to you, you cannot let the problem linger. You must immediately bring it up and try to resolve the issue. I truly believe in the power of forgiveness, but if hurtful words or actions are recurring, you must stand up for yourself and move on with your life without that person. It's hard to create an "enemy," but if you already have a wonderful support system of friends and family, what does an "enemy" matter? No matter what happens with your interaction with this person, your true friends and family will back you up.
Standing up for myself is an issue that I struggle with daily, but I am certainly getting better at it with time. At the end of the day, I can say that it is such a relief to see what a great support system I have. It is also a relief to think of those that I have let out of my life because they have hurt me. Getting rid of negativity in your life feels like a weight being lifted off of your shoulders.
SIDE NOTE:
I am a strong advocate for anti-bullying campaigns and truly feel that if there were more programs in schools to help people love themselves and learn how to stand up to these demeaning people, lives could be changed. All this world needs is love, and for someone to take every step to shoot that down is really sickening. People kill themselves over bullying, and it is all due to low self-esteem and a fear of standing up for oneself. Please spread the word about this blog so that people can take a step toward eradicating this awful behavior.
