Based on true events
On one dark and starry night, I wake up to the voice of my crying relative [
name and relationship anonymous]. I had thought it was her, but could not imagine why she would be at my house. I lived four hours away from her and rarely saw her. She had a seemingly great life - two boys, one girl from a previous marriage, happy current marriage. Why would she be at my house at this hour? I was a teenager in high school. I was emotionally fragile, completely unaware that there were much greater evils outside of high school that existed. I walked into the living room to confirm what I was hearing from my room. There she was, with my dad, crying her eyes out, trying to communicate everything that she had just experienced. She was trying to tell the truth of the recent events through the complexity of her discombobulated emotions. She was pouring out seas of saltwater tears. She had her two boys with her, who were completely quiet. They were so young and completely unaware of the seriousness of the events that had just occurred. "I was leaving with the boys and he tried to run over me. He got in the car and tried to run over me." That was all I needed to hear. I immediately knew that my relative's husband had been abusive.
Every person on Earth is entitled to a loving, caring, and cultivating relationship. Every person deserves to be treated with kindness, utmost respect, and have unconditional attention. Unfortunately, there are predators that live in this world that take advantage of relationships and turn them into firey hell. They act in complete selfishness and degrade their partner to make them feel better about their own lives. Due to the fact that many of these predators have never been shown the love they needed in their lives from their family, friends, etc., they find other avenues to fill that emptiness. Unfortunately, one of those avenues is mental and physical abuse in a relationship.
Although these people belittle or desecrate their significant others, some of their partners feel stuck in the relationship and "allow" this wrongdoing to happen. No one wants to be in this situation. No one wants an abusive relationship. However, there are individuals in this world that don't love themselves enough to believe that they deserve nothing but the best. They instantly fall for those that give them the slightest ounce of attention or love. Once they are hooked to that person that appears to be the one that will give them all the love, kindness, and attention they need, it is difficult to break away.
Those in abusive relationships should not feel that they are the ones to blame. They have done nothing wrong. They simply saw what was presented to them, liked what they saw and felt during that time, and engaged in a relationship that turned mentally and/or physically abusive, due to no fault of their own. It is extremely important to understand that those that instigate this type of mistreatment in a relationship are the ones that caused the pain. Those receiving this pain are victims, not suspects.
I cannot express through these words how important it is to love yourself before committing to any type of relationship. Those that have low self-esteem, are pessimistic, and feel that they don't deserve anything better than an abusive relationship are the ones that predators are more likely to go after because they are more vulnerable. If you are in that state of vulnerability, it is easy to succumb to practically anything anyone tells you. Please, if you have any self-esteem issues and are simply not happy with yourself, work on bettering this first. You are more likely to feel stuck in an abusive relationship than those that have self-confidence. Those that possess self-confidence, have a positive attitude, and want something more in their lives are more likely to empower themselves to run far away from the slightest sign of abuse.
If you are currently in an abusive relationship, there is still hope. If you are in an abusive relationship where your partner has threatened you with harm if you told anyone about the relationship, THERE IS HOPE. Although difficult, you must have a positive mindset and tell yourself that everything will be okay. You must tell yourself that you deserve better than this. You must contact the appropriate authorities and report this. You must turn to your neighbor, a friend, or a family member. My relative, as mentioned before, finally had enough and drove four hours to get away from her abusive relationship. It was extremely challenging to follow through with this as she had children from the marriage, but she empowered herself and knew that there was something better out there for her and her children.
If you are lost and feel that you have no one to help you, there are organizations that help those in abusive relationships:
http://www.teensagainstabuse.org/index.php - Specifically for teenagers in abusive relationships
http://www.soarinri.org/get-info/learn-about-soar - Specifically for women
http://dahmw.org/ - Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women
Remember, as I have said many, many times before. It is
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to learn to love yourself before even thinking about seeking love in other places. You will not only live a happier life after doing this, but you can also lower your risk of feeling stuck in an abusive relationship that you don't need to be in.
