Breaking up is painful, but losing the mass of friendships that you've had with your significant other's friends seems even worse. You have built a network of friends from this relationship in which you have invested an abundance of time, but when the break-up occurs, it seems that all of those trustworthy and fun friends vanish into darkness along with the happiness that you once felt.
The mere acquaintances that you have met through dating your ex seem to be the ones that disappear the quickest. You've met these people once or twice, have really started to grow to enjoy their company, and then when your relationship is over, they turn into your Facebook friends, but will never be your real friends. You have this desire to get to know them better, but you know that the barrier of your no longer present relationship will always awkwardly separate you.
There are also situations where those mere acquaintances turn into full-blown friendships. This is a rare occasion, but it is absolutely possible. Perhaps one party or the other decides to forget the fact that a relationship is no longer existent and then decides to pursue a genuine friendship. Don't we all wish that this could happen more often? The amount of friends that we would have - the amount of people that we could instill our trust in - would be seemingly innumerable.
Perhaps one of the most unfortunate positions to be in after a relationship is cutting ties with those close friends that you have made through your ex. You have shared many memorable moments with them and will always hold them close to your heart. Some of those close friends will stay in touch with you and will continue to pursue their friendship with you, but others will stray and solely exist as a memory and nothing more. These friends are the friends that you regret losing the most. These friends are the good ones that "ran away."
No matter the circumstance of your break-up, it seems that we all learn that, much like boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, friendships can just as easily come and go. Friendships live within a wavy ocean and the storms that hit are always unpredictable. For the friends that rise and ebb like ocean waves, turn them into a learning experience. For the friends that stick around and want to pursue a genuine relationship with you, hold them close and appreciate their efforts. Although some friends may be lost, others will be gained.
The mere acquaintances that you have met through dating your ex seem to be the ones that disappear the quickest. You've met these people once or twice, have really started to grow to enjoy their company, and then when your relationship is over, they turn into your Facebook friends, but will never be your real friends. You have this desire to get to know them better, but you know that the barrier of your no longer present relationship will always awkwardly separate you.
There are also situations where those mere acquaintances turn into full-blown friendships. This is a rare occasion, but it is absolutely possible. Perhaps one party or the other decides to forget the fact that a relationship is no longer existent and then decides to pursue a genuine friendship. Don't we all wish that this could happen more often? The amount of friends that we would have - the amount of people that we could instill our trust in - would be seemingly innumerable.
Perhaps one of the most unfortunate positions to be in after a relationship is cutting ties with those close friends that you have made through your ex. You have shared many memorable moments with them and will always hold them close to your heart. Some of those close friends will stay in touch with you and will continue to pursue their friendship with you, but others will stray and solely exist as a memory and nothing more. These friends are the friends that you regret losing the most. These friends are the good ones that "ran away."
No matter the circumstance of your break-up, it seems that we all learn that, much like boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, friendships can just as easily come and go. Friendships live within a wavy ocean and the storms that hit are always unpredictable. For the friends that rise and ebb like ocean waves, turn them into a learning experience. For the friends that stick around and want to pursue a genuine relationship with you, hold them close and appreciate their efforts. Although some friends may be lost, others will be gained.
Yay Marla! Great blog!
ReplyDeleteIt's real sad when you lose not only a relationship but also the people around it, but then I wonder if those that leave your life for good are the types of friends you want anyway, you know?
---Chloey
Chloey dear! How am I just now noticing this comment...? Haha, thanks so much though! I have definitely thought about those friends that don't stick around - whether they're actually worth being friends with or not. I suppose not?
ReplyDelete<3 Marla