Being Clingy Will Not Bring You Closer to True Love

Much like a relationship where spontaneity has died, being clingy proves incredibly destructive.  Keep in mind that you do not need to be in a relationship in order to show clingy-ness.  I feel that I have experienced many shapes and forms of the clingy people and I can tell you this: being clingy will get you nowhere closer to true love.

What do I define as clingy?  Well, whether in a relationship or not, someone may seem to latch on to a particular person and never let go.  By never letting go, I mean continuous phone calls/text messages (and that includes not being patient for their reply), extremely consistent attempts to hang out, and saying phrases to a particular person to guilt them into believing a certain thing (hey... you... you know you're not being clever trying to guilt trip people into things... we can tell!).  Also, my friends, if someone you're dating or interested in starts discussing marriage, kids and your future together after only a month, you might want to think about running far, far away.  In other words, Jersey Shore words to be exact, that person is kind of creepin'.

So, I suppose you could devise the conclusion that being clingy is equal to being obsessive.  Acting in this way is not healthy if you want to pursue a relationship.  A relationship should not be two people constantly attached at the hip for eternity.  You see, in this world, we're all about taking two humans and making babies so that those babies can grow to be their own person.  We're not really into taking two already grown humans and melting them together with no productive result.  Do you see what I'm saying?  Once a clingy person succeeds in obtaining their "prey", that relationship becomes immediately calamitous.  Someone, if not both, in that relationship are going to lose the sense of who they really are.

Many times, people are so invested in a relationship that they become blind to what's really happening.  Even when their closest friends point out that something is wrong, they don't want to believe them.  However, if many different people point out the same thing, a light bulb usually goes off (let's hope).  So please, take my advice: if you have friends that are pointing out something along the lines of, "Hey, I think you guys are spending way too much time together," or "He's really clingy, I would be careful if I were you," then listen.  You may not like what you hear, but it's the best thing for you.

Another issue that arises when someone becomes too clingy is the big 'J' word.  Say it with me now... jealousy.  I feel that when someone latches on to a person of interest, he or she automatically believes that that person is his or hers and no one else's.  It sounds a little psychotic, maybe, but it's entirely true.  The clingy individual may start to do things like ask who you're texting, who just called, and peer over your shoulder while you check your Facebook and e-mail.  Not only is this an obsessive trait, but it's also a sign that this person will have trust issues if you decide to take things any further.  If someone you know does any of these things and interest is involved, watch out.

Clingy people could also be looked at as people that would be the controlling ones in a relationship.  If someone is constantly checking your phone, Facebook and e-mail, they will eventually lose trust in you and start to think of ways to control your usage of those things in order to prevent you from doing anything that is not focused on him or her.  It sounds scary, but it does happen.  I am not suggesting that all clingy people are bad people who are controlling, but in many cases, those that latch on to someone turn out that way.  In some cases, those people could even be violent because of their past.  Please be careful.

For those of you that do fit within this "criteria" of being a clingy person, please realize that there is a life outside of relationships and marriage.  You must do the things that you really enjoy to keep your mind busy.  I'm not saying that it's wrong to show interest in someone, but you can't be obsessive about it.  You must be patient.  Don't call/text ALL the time and don't expect immediate responses.  We all have lives outside of love, you know.  If you're going to be the jealous type, you won't have a clear, healthy path to true love.  Everyone wants to be loved.  Do your part and just be you, no clingy-ness or jealousy involved.  The right person will come along - you don't have to adamantly pursue every person that you're interested in.